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JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU (EVEN WHEN I DOUBT)

January 31, 2021 By Sarah Christmyer 5 Comments

It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a crowd, due to COVID. I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like. Maybe that’s why it stands out to me as I read through the early chapters of Mark’s gospel: people are everywhere. Jostling, asking, listening, questioning, pleading for help. They crowd into Jesus’ house so he can’t eat in peace. They threaten to crush him on shore, so he teaches from a boat. He has to get away to pray.

He had to be tired.

There’s this very human scene in Mark 4:35-41. He’s been teaching all day long, after a whirlwind tour of Galilee during which he’s under a constant crush of people. It’s evening and he suggests to his disciples that they cross to the other side of the sea.

“Leaving the crowd, they took Jesus with them in the boat just as he was,” it says.

That phrase struck me: “Just as he was.” How was that? Exhausted? Must be, because before you know it, he’s passed out on a cushion in the back of the boat. He’s so tired, he sleeps through the violent storm that comes up. Waves are crashing in; the wind is wild. I can see the disciples frantically bailing out the water, trying to keep the boat from going down and somebody notices that Jesus is still asleep. They shake him awake. “Teacher, don’t you care that we are perishing?”

I think all they expected was for him to pull his weight, maybe bail from the back or help somehow to hold things steady. Or maybe if they’re truly going down, to lead a prayer. They did not expect what he did. He raised his voice against the wind — and it stopped.

Night (and peace) falls on the Sea of Galilee. Photo by Sarah Christmyer.

 

Whoa! Who is this guy? they ask.

Maybe Mark wrote this to show that Jesus is divine. But today it’s his human side that stands out to me. He’s someone doing his best to teach and heal and help and getting worn out in the process. Overwhelmed to the point of sleeping through danger. And in his disciples’ reaction, I see him through their eyes. He’s a revered teacher, sure; but he’s also someone they take “just as he was,” who they are comfortable enough with to shake awake and ask, “don’t you care?” They presume on his compassion. His divinity and power is dawning on them, but they know his humanity as well. He is first their friend.

I want to know the Lord like that. As a friend and a brother. To have that familiarity with Jesus, that I assume that even when he seems asleep, even when my faith falters, I can call on him and expect his help — and learn that yes, he does care after all.

Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief, especially when I feel alone. Thank you that you’re never too tired to care for me.

© 2021 Sarah Christmyer

 

Related posts:

  • Have Faith in the Fire: A Lesson from Job
  • Trust in God & His Power Within Us
  • Trust God, the Divine Artist
  • Trust in the Slow Work of God

 

Filed Under: Scripture Reflection

Comments

  1. Marianne ONeill says

    January 31, 2021 at 5:52 pm

    Beautiful thoughts, Sarah. Thank you for sharing your gift.

  2. Nancy says

    January 31, 2021 at 11:03 pm

    Thank you for this. That phrase, “just as he was” struck me for the first time. I listened to and read several commentaries but none mentioned it. I had thought of how quickly they must have left so Jesus couldn’t have washed his hands, splashed his face with water to feel a bit refreshed. Being exhausted, his humanity helps me know and love him even more.

  3. CHARLES AZZOPARDI says

    February 1, 2021 at 11:49 am

    I ALWAYS JEARNED TO KNOW MORE AND MORE ABOUT GOD.
    BUT I AM ONE OF THE MOST MINOR STUDENTS OF GOD.
    I ALWAYS STRIVE TO KNOW MORE THROUGH THE REDEEMER, CHRIST, WHO IS OUR ONE AND ONLY REDEEMER.
    HOLY SPIRIT HELP ME TO BE ALERT TO YOUR CONTINUOUS ILLUMINATIONS.

  4. CHARLES AZZOPARDI says

    February 1, 2021 at 11:59 am

    HOLY SPIRIT BE MY ONE AND ONLY LIGHT.

  5. Toni Lovingood says

    February 1, 2021 at 7:47 pm

    How precious that Jesus takes us “just as we are” too. ❤️

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Sarah Christmyer writes and speaks about Scripture and the Catholic faith with the goal of helping people meet Jesus in his Word. “The Bible isn’t just a book about God or instructions for a good life; it’s a place to meet God and be changed by him,” she says. Her love of Scripture fuels her writing of Bible studies and related books; her teaching of Philadelphia seminarians; her speaking at conferences and retreats; and writing for blogs such as this one. “Come Into the Word” draws people into the Bible and encourages and equips them to explore it on their own.

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