Thanksgiving Day rolls around regardless of events, and some years it’s easier to get in the spirit than others. This is one of the hard ones. Mark died just four weeks ago, and there’s been barely time to grieve. I am prepared to give thanks for his life; for 35 years of marriage and all that came from them; for Mark’s witness to God’s faithful care even in his suffering. But he is not here, my heart cries, and I am. Don’t expect me to be thankful now!
How can I be thankful when I’m sad?
I’m not feeling grateful. But St. Paul tells us,
“Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18, emphases mine).
Really? That’s the will of God?
I know he means the giving thanks and not the circumstances. But I need help with that, and turn to the Psalms.
Psalm 137 meets me where I am…
Psalm 137 resonates with me today. It meets me where I am. It’s the one “by the waters of Babylon,” where the exiled people of Israel weep as they think of Jerusalem, which has been destroyed. Their captors demand that they laugh and sing. “How shall we sing?” they ask in torment (vs. 4). They will never forget the city they love!
The psalmist ends in rage against their enemies. It’s not a place I want to go in my heart, however much I can identify. But I can’t help noticing the psalm’s placement in the Bible.
…between two psalms that help to set me straight
Psalm 137 is sandwiched between 136, the “Great Hallel” psalm that calls us to thank God for his goodness and mercy which permeate all of history, even times of distress; and 138, which might be the psalmist’s personal response to that summons. Repeatedly he gives thanks to the Lord, who sustains him “though I walk in the midst of trouble” (vs. 7).
If you, like me, seek to drown your grief in gratitude this week, I recommend these Psalms. Read them in your Bible (not on the internet) so you can more easily see the flow between them.
- Start with 136 and its call to praise, noting the reasons given.
- Continue with 137 and allow yourself to feel the pain … and then continue on:
- Read 138 slowly several times. Notice that the author’s thanks doesn’t start with his own feeling. Rather, it’s rooted in truths about God. This thanksgiving isn’t a gush of emotion, it’s a deliberate, overt proclamation. List the things the psalmist is grateful for; the reasons he gives for giving thanks; the benefits to his relationship with God. Read again and listen. What touches your heart? How?
Notice how both the psalmist in 138, and Paul in 1 Thessalonians 5, end at the same place: with God’s faithfulness to those he loves. He will be faithful to you! Resolve to give thanks even as you walk in the midst of trouble. Thank God for who he is and all he’s done and promised. Plunge your grief into the ocean of his love and let it console you.
© 2022 Sarah Christmyer
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Continue meditating on these thanksgiving Psalms and prayer:
You might also like these:
- Thanks-Giving: the Door to Happy Holidays (when grudges threaten family gatherings)
- Giving Thanks in Good Times and in Bad (the extraordinary example of the Jews)
- Practicing Gratitude — Grace Before Meals (more on 1 Thessalonians 5:18)
- Thanks (for Nothing?) Learn the Power of Praise (thanksgiving as a sacrifice)
Sarah-
I’ve been thinking so much of Mark since his passing. I remember his involvement in the music festival and the tent revival at Malverne. Ive been feeling the nudge to do some similar event or events up here and wishing I could consult with him and then I was thinking that maybe the nudge was coming from him.
You are in my prayers. – Anne Costa Syracuse, NY
Dearest Sarah, our deepest sympathy on your loss of Mark. Your Faith is an inspiration to others. May God strengthen this Faith and protect you in these coming Holy days.
Dear Sarah,
I’m sorry for your loos of your loving husband, Mark. I will pray for his soul and for your children and Mark’s family. Stay strong and take good care of yourself.
I always look forward in hearing from you. God bless you and your community
Dear Sarah, my condolences for the loss of your great love, Mark, especially with Thanksgiving tomorrow. RIP for Mark and may the Holy Family enfold you in your grief. Will offer up tomorrow’s mass for Mark and all of you.
JMJ
Linda
I am so sorry Sarah for the loss of your husband. It requires a woman of hreat faith to be able to get up again after this suffering.
I had just said to my wife the other day that I had missed your emails/blog for a while, and then this email popped in yesterday.
You have a unique gift of Scripture teaching and I for one am most grateful to God (and you) for sharing this gift.
Sarah, thank you so much. I have forwarded this to my entire, 42 of them, Bible study group. Also, I have forwarded to my friends Liz whose husband passed this year and Tita whose hubby also died several years ago.
I will continue to reflect on them this evening when the dust settles after the Thanksgiving dinner.
Also, I will continue to try to bring you to St. Peter’s Boerne. I never give up!
Love,
Ree
Dear Sarah,
How grateful to God I am for your honesty and poignant moving of all our hearts to God. Your words ring with truth and that sterling faith that continues to be polished in God’s Presence. And as you know, even after ten years, my own heart resonates with your witness and testimony, grateful for these psalms, which month after month speak into my spirit God’s Spirit of consolation.
Looking forward to more time in praise of His wonder and Presence,
Joyce
Sarah, thank so much for this reflection. God blessings as you mourn. Writing is a good way.
Dear Sarah, I wondered why I hadn’t seen any of your beautiful reflections for quite a while. Now, sadly, I understand. My heartfelt condolences and prayers for you and your family on Mark’s passing. I write passing rather than loss because, as my pastor says, those who go before us are not lost to us; they have passed into new life where we will one day join them. My heart aches for you, but I know that your faith and love of God will carry you through this time of grief. May the peace and comfort of Our Lord sustain you.