I don’t know about you, but I’m thirsty for Jesus.
I’m hungry for the Eucharist.
I want him. Physically, tangibly. Less than 10 days into coronavirus-prompted deprivation, I have a longing I’ve never experienced before. It’s a longing I never thought I’d have, given 30 years of experiencing his presence spiritually as a Protestant, ignorant of what I was missing. Even as a Catholic, it took years to understand: “This is my Body” is for real. “This is my Blood, given for you.”
Take … and eat. Drink.
I am thirsty. I’m hungry.
Priest offering the Eucharist. Image by RobertCheaib from Pixabay.
What are we going to do?
A friend said, I find him outside, in the beauty of nature. Another: I close my eyes and enter my heart, and meet him there. And just as I have done daily since I was 15, I open my Bible and listen as the Lord speaks to me, comforting, consoling, challenging my heart.
All of that’s good. But it’s not the same.
There are levels of communion with the Lord. Not one is like the co-mingling of body and blood that takes place at Mass, him in me until I become part of him.
As a deer longs for flowing streams,
So longs my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and behold the face of God? (Psalm 42:1-2)
As I learn to live with this new thirst, I wonder. Have I taken that communion for granted? Going weekly, daily sometimes, taking his Body and Blood in all reverence, to be sure, but not with this longing and desire. Have I appreciated the gift?
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say.
How true that is.
A lesson from the past
The Old Testament is instructive in this time of forced thirst. God formed his people in the desert, where they rebelled when they got thirsty. In Meribah they forgot his care, doubted his presence, and wished themselves back in Egypt! Miraculously, he provided water from a rock. But the story lived on as a warning. “Harden not your hearts as at Meribah,” God pled with them through the psalmist, years later. “Oh that today you would listen to his voice!” (See Psalm 95:7-8.)
Then in Psalm 81:
I tested you at the waters of Meribah
Hear, O my people, while I admonish you!
O Israel, if you would but listen to me!
There shall be no strange god among you;
you shall not bow down to a foreign god.
I am the LORD your God,
who brought you up out of the land of Egypt.
Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.”
O my people: listen to me!
What might God be saying to us today, through this enforced deprivation?
We too are people who know, personally, the saving work of God … who have entered a desert of sorts. Do we trust that the Lord is our shepherd even here, even when he cannot be seen and touched?
Do we let panic at the hardships that come our way harden our hearts and close our ears to his voice?
Can we take this as an opportunity to examine our hearts?
Perhaps we have allowed “strange gods” among us, even while worshiping him. Have we bowed to the god of work? Of self-sufficiency? Of pleasure?
Has safety lulled us to sleep? Has excess dulled our desire?
If God has allowed us to go hungry for a time, even for him, let us …
… turn to him all the more in our hearts
… examine our lives and repent
… fill our minds and hearts with his Word
… enter spiritually into his presence
… offer up our sufferings
… not put the Lord to the test
… approach him with gratitude, thanksgiving and trust
… ask, humbly, for his grace.
Let us focus our longing on him. And let us wait in patience for the water from the Rock that is Christ.
Open your mouth wide, and He will fill it.
© 2020 Sarah Christmyer
You might also like:
- Thirsty? Choose Where to Go With Your Longing (learning from the Woman at the Well)
- Thirsting for God (first in a series of posts on how the Psalms teach us to reach out in thirst to the One who can satisfy).
- Dr. Edward Sri talks about making a spiritual communion and how to worship even when we can’t go to Mass in The House of the Lord is Closed but the Glory Has Not Departed.
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Thank you, Sarah. You said what is in my heart but with much more clarity than I ever could!
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for your beautiful inspiring words. Your Scripture readings were perfect too. I will seriously take your suggestions to use my time in seclusion to take a very in depth look at my soul and my faith. I realize that this is a time for me to not harden my heart and and a time to work to make my heart pure – a time to get myself ready. We’re reminded that our Lord needs to find us ready … . We don’t know the hour … .
I am also so very grateful for Ascension Press, EWTN, and our local Catholic Radio Station (101.7) for providing so many wonderful programs, Masses, Adoration, Stations of the Cross, etc. that have helped me to stay focused, hopeful, and aware of our Lord’s Presence. It truly helps to ease the pain of not being able to receive our Lord’s Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity in the Eucharist physically at this time.
Thank you again for being there with your beautiful, inspiring, words. You know exactly what we need, and what to say to help us. I thank God that you are my sister in Christ., and one of His blessings in my life.
When I watch Mass and see our Lord in a monstrance online, my mouth salivates and my body yearns. I have been closing my eyes and focusing on His presence within-His Spirit. It has been so hard to see my parents only from a distant or on FaceTime without being able to hug them. They are on voluntary isolation because of their age. We are a physical and spiritual people. This continues a year of dark night for me as the Lord began stripping me of many earthly attachments. Now I am thankful for that preparation and am feeling peace amidst this struggle. Thanks for the post.
You said it beautifully! I long for my Lord and my God. ✝️ I will use this absence to fill my soul with His Holy Word. His words draw me near and fill me up!
I loved this reading and it is so current… The people of Israel in their thirst for water – God told Moses to go to the rock and hit is with his staff… saying I will be standing in front of the rock and the water will flow from it. This Moses did… and the water flowed. The question is always ask “Is the Lord in our midst or “…
We know He is always in front of us. We are His people forever and ever. Your words are beautiful and moving. Thanks, L
Sarah heard your journey and was in awe. Can really relate to it
Heard your discussion w/interviewer on EWTN the other day and could not wait to learn more about you, your journey in life, and your writings. Your story is gripping and can’t wait to learn more.
Thank you, Marian! There is some in my book, “Becoming Women of the Word,” and also on the “About” page of my website, https://comeintotheword.com/hello-about-sarah-christmyer/. God bless you!
Sarah,
I just saw your interview with Marcus on The Journey Home.
The title of your book prompted me to order it and I can’t wait to begin reading it. Your journey home is so inspirational. I’m always so amazed at how God works in our lives.
Every Easter when I attend the Vigil , my heart is joyful at the many people coming into the Church from other denominations.
At the same time, I find myself shedding tears of sorrow because so many if my very dear family members have left the Catholic Church . I’ll never understand why they left and will never cease to pray for the day when they all make their journey back home.
I feel blessed to have learned of you and your ministry.
Blessings to you.