Sometimes there’s not enough of me to go around.
The kids need help. A loved one dies. The dryer breaks, or the car. Taxes are due and a deadline zooms and no, I can’t possibly help you today. My own needs are too great … I’m stretched as far as I can go.
Sometimes there’s not enough of me for you.
What would Jesus do?
I feel like Jesus must have felt when he set off for a lonely place to grieve after John the Baptist was killed. He’d just lost a dear friend and cousin. He needed that time alone. But crowds of people followed, begging for his help, and his compassion was so great that he set aside his needs to tend to theirs.
Could I do that? I’m not so sure. My need tends to overwhelm compassion. I relate better to the disciples who were with Jesus, who told him to call it day and send the people away (see Matthew 14:15).
Jesus, however, used that clamoring need to teach his disciples a lesson: “They don’t have to go away,” he said. “Take care of them.”
“But….”
“Bring me what you have.”
Image by congerdesign from Pixabay.
You know what he did: he took their meager dinner, held it up to heaven, blessed it – and then broke it up. Again and again he tore the loaves and cut the fish and by the end, an enormous crowd was fed and there was more left over than they had at the start.
Not enough was more than they needed!
Think of that: in the breaking, there was increase.
After breaking, there was more.
Am I willing to put my meager, insufficient self in Jesus’s hands? I want to hold myself together; to stand up whole and self-sufficient and solve the needs around me. I don’t want to break and I don’t want you to see me broken.
But it was from those broken pieces that Jesus fed the crowds. Nothing was lost in the end, but more was left. “And all were satisfied”!
With Jesus, broken pieces feed and heal
Hear what God says in Isaiah 58:10:
If you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
Lord, I give you the inadequate pieces of my life. Thank you for what you have given me! Please take my broken pieces in your compassionate hands and help me respond to the needs around me.
©2020 Sarah Christmyer.
This post was originally published January 9, 2015. It was revised July 17, 2020.
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Wow. This perfectly describes my life right now. My mother died just before Christmas, and the children and I were sick the two weeks surrounding. Then I had to come home and plan a “Magical Christmas” for my littles. I’m in my first trimester with my sixth baby fighting nausea, exhaustion, and migraines while battling the children’s cabin fever and trying to make any progress at all with homeschool. There hasn’t been a break. Thank you so much for this post!
Yesterday I was seated in a Dr.’s waiting room when an elderly couple came in with their daughter. The couple was loud and bickering about silly things and I I prayed that when I’m that age I’ll be kind to my husband. I prayed for the daughter too. The daughter was embarrassed. As we waited two more adult siblings joined the waiting family. It was obvious that some decisions were going to be made that day. The couple continued to bicker. A man across the room looked up from his laptop and laughed at something the old woman said and told the daughter, “I have my own.” It broke the tension. When the family’s turn to see the Dr came the daughter was last to go into the office and we made eye contact. I said, “been there.” And we both smiled. It was obvious that the daughter has poured herself out for her Mom and Dad. It’s a beautiful expression of love to pour yourself out for another. It’s Christ like.
Sarah, your insights are always so rich and you communicate them so well. What an awesome gift to blessed with! Thank you for sharing your time and wisdom.
Sarah, you feed us with inspiring words! You build us up to face life’s challenge’s. My prayer for you is that our Lord will fill you up with his power and strength to fight the battle ahead. God bless you!
I need that especially today. Thank you so much.
Interesting thought process. I never looked at it like that. Thanks.
As I read your inspiring words today Sarah, I’m thinking with a heavy heart about what is happening in our Country today. I’m thinking about the bread and fish Jesus was breaking into pieces to share so that there would be enough for the ‘crowd’. The lesson that Jesus seemed to be teaching us is, ‘Follow me, give whatever you have and I will make it enough to complete and strengthen you to do My perfect Will and Plan.’ I can break whatever you have in you, as determination, humility, and faith into enough pieces to complete the task at hand, the words needed to a doubter or naysayer, misunderstandings, the family’s needs, or any heartache we are facing.
He is ‘the great multiplier’ of whatever we have in us to get the job done as per His perfect plan. He and His word is the very Light we need in our darkness. All we need to do is to push the ‘On ‘ button for enough Light to see in the darkness and heartache is our life. He tells us that ‘He will send us an army to find us the the darkness and heartache. ‘ His Grace is always enough for us. Keep the pieces of your eyes, ears, heart, mind, and soul focused on ‘the Great Multiplier.’
Thank you, Andrea, for that beautiful reflection. Yes, his Grace is enough! Blessings on you.